Making Relationship Comparisons
For those who are still single and seeking a long term relationship, making comparisons between past loves and a new one often occurs. It is a natural way for a person to look at someone else and see if they are willing to create a relationship. They have generally pulled apart their old relationship to find out what they did or did not like in the other person, and they are often looking at comparisons as a way to measure their tolerance to someone new. It is fine if they only do it for a short time, but it can become an issue if the comparisons continue as the relationship becomes more serious.
Those who have had a long time relationship with someone who passed on often find they are comparison shopping when they are finally ready to date, and it can become an issue. The person they are dating might feel they are competing with someone who is seen as perfect. It can cause a rift in the relationship if they realize they are being compared and found waiting, so keeping it quiet would be a good idea.
For those who have been in a bad relationship, looking for signs of a person being mean or selfish can become a sticky situation. No one really likes to be looked at that deeply, and the knowledge they are not perfect can make it worse. While they might never do what the former spouse did, being compared will put them on edge.
It is normal to make some comparisons when dating someone new because it is a good way to assimilate information, but it should not be something discussed between partners. Letting go of it should be done once the relationship becomes apparent, or those who keep it up will soon find they may have lost a potential partner.